HAPPY NEW YEAR
Another year has rolled around! I love New Years–not because of any party or fun. I love New Years because it’s a new beginning–a fresh start. A blank calendar to be filled in as I wish. I love to plan for the new year. I set goals, plan trips, and contemplate the changes from last year. It’s the one day of the year that is like a report card for me. I think back on where I was one year ago and if I’ve moved forward in some area in a positive way.
THE OLD YEAR
2019 was a good year. It was a year I purged my life of relationships that served no purpose except to create sadness, anxiety, guilt, stress, and emotional turmoil. True, I spent most of 2019 basically alone except for my husband and my one and only childhood friend I still associate with. On the other hand, moving away from weighty relationships opened the door for ones that were more relaxed and healthy.
I discovered there are actually people I can be around without feeling stressed, misunderstood, exploited, or judged. It’s been a blessing. Now that the slate is basically clean, I can look forward to 2020 for new relationships with people who enjoy my company without me feeling the need to suppress my thoughts, feelings, and personality (such as it is). I can simply be myself.
I also changed jobs toward the end of 2019. I am no longer working as a suicide prevention professional and am now the manager of a residential program for substance use, homelessness, and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Now the manager position does involve significant problem solving and crisis situations. However, the new job has not been stressful on a personal level.
I am pretty sure working in suicide prevention for three years helped me re-evaluate and set priorities a little better. When you work in suicide prevention the only thing that really matters is that people go on living. Given that one single mission (go on living), the drama of the residential program (with people getting into fights, sneaking alcohol in, knocking tables over, having significant needs, and having few resource options) is refreshing.