“Time for me is not linear. It flows in random loops and swirls, and sometimes in huge, incomprehensible leaps.” Kerry Anne King, Whisper Me This


There have been many commentaries on “time”.  Some say time does not exist at all and the whole concept is man-made.  Time, as it is generally thought of, is linear, progressive, and non-reversible.  Time is considered a non-replenish-able resource. Some view it like money whereas you are given 24 hours per day to spend as you will but, once spent, is gone forever.

My personal experience of time is that each hour or minute is not necessarily equal.  I have experienced “stretching of time” in which I seem to have more time within a given segment or hour than the hour itself would have justified.  I’m not talking about time going by quickly due to having fun or slowly due to being bored.  I’m referring to doing tasks at the exact same rate as normal yet completing double or triple the amount of activity (not moving any faster) than typical for me given the same time frame

What I’m saying is that I don’t necessarily believe time is moving forward in a linear manner at exactly the same speed at all times.  I do believe time slows and quickens for reasons outside our current understanding.  Many people in life threatening situations report the life-threatening event being “in slow motion”.  Sure, some explain this experience as a neurological effect and only being the memory of the event and not the actual time of the event.  I’m not so sure.  Again, I don’t necessarily believe real time is as exact and unchangeable as we have been taught.

Just because we do not understand something or the understanding of it exceeds our ability to accept, does not mean it’s not true or does not exist.  Technology and scientific process continue to reveal explanations for previous wonders and mysteries that before hand, we would have been unlikely to accept.  All the greatest thinkers have been ahead of their times and ridiculed in their own time (Galileo, for example).

black and white photo of clocks
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The past is traditionally believed to be behind us and gone forever.  Notwithstanding reincarnation, time-travel, and science fiction, the past is looked at as behind us.  I’ve never, personally, had experience with time travel or any other sensation of being in the past.  I have experienced déjà vu, however, which many believe is related to previous lives lived.  I’ve also met people who do seem to be “new souls” versus “old souls“.

Something I have yet to explain is when one of my children was three, the child asked me, “why is this life different from all our other lives”?  I had no answer for that question nor can I explain why this child seemed to be referring to past lives or multiple lives lived although being raised in a protestant Christian home.

What I have experienced is the alerting of my memory of the past with details remembered so vividly yet completely false (colors of things for example, or completely different from other’s memory of the same event).  And, frankly, I sometimes have difficulty distinguishing between a memory and a past dream I was recalling.  I’ve said many times, “I may have just dreamed it”.


My experience of the present is a “me” separate from my mind and my body.  This sounds very strange coming out of my “mouth” but it’s how I feel.  I am very often surprised to see myself in a mirror because it does not look like the “me” I know.  “The real me” stopped aging at some point and forever looks the same (somewhere in my early 20’s still feels like the “real” me).  This I cannot explain and is, honestly, one of the pitfalls of aging “in real time”.

I am getting old but do not feel old at all.  I am overweight yet still think I can sit in small spots or slide by narrow spaces (I cannot though and it always is a shock to me).  I can look in the mirror and see no gray hairs and, occasionally, when they all shine through I, again, am astounded and think they only just arrived.  Just as when I was a child I thought of myself as an adult, now, as an older middle aged on the brink of being old aged, I still think of myself as the same adult (again, early 20’s).

The present, according to many, is all we actually have.  The past is believed to be gone and the future is not promised.  I do agree to live, mostly, in the present moment.  On the other hand, I think it’s also important to plan and hope for the future.

people sitting on gang chairs
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The future is “out there somewhere” and may or may not come to fruition.  None of us know what our own future holds and exactly how much of it there is left.  Every day could, in fact, be the day we die.  It’s not necessarily a good idea to dwell on the “what  ifs” and “wherefores” but at the same time do keep it at least in the back of your mind.

I have experienced snapshots (in pictures) of the future (near future) as well as premonitions of the immediate future.  The first one (pictures) comes as flashes of images that, on the surface, mean nothing to me.  I do, however, recognize when the scene pictured appears in real life.  I recognize the image and immediately remember the flash of the image when it occurred.

The other thing, the premonition, has not happened in many years.  In this experience, I think of a “what if” and within seconds that “what if” happens.  For example, in middle school, as I was walking to our parked bus for the trip home, it entered my mind “what if Pat is there and he and I are the only ones on the bus for  while”.  As soon as my bus came into view and I walked up the steps, Pat himself was the only one on the bus.  This, by the way, had never happened before.  I might add that Pat was my crush of the week.  That type of thing happened a lot in my middle school years but not, that I remember, afterwards.

While I’d like to think of these experiences as spiritual in nature or some sort of gift, I really don’t believe that is the case.  Nothing came of the experiences that amounted to any significance at all.  They, for all appearances, were completely neutral–served no purpose at all.

The experiences do, however, lend credence to my own personal believe about the flow of time.  I believe, and I can’t prove or explain why, that all time–past, present, and future, is existing simultaneously at the exact same moment.  Because, in my opinion, time is happening all at once instead of linear, it’s perfectly logical that, sometimes, we will get glimpses of either past or future in the present.

I could be wrong–I often am!

low angle view of spiral staircase against black background
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