I’M THE ONE WHO SUFFERS
“People are always doing things for my sake and strangely enough, I’m the one who suffers for it.”Robert Masello, BLOOD AND ICE
5 WAYS UNWANTED HELP CAUSES US TO SUFFER
- The “help” is for the helper’s benefit (self-serving). This is when someone basically forces their help on you whether you want the help or not. Usually you don’t want this help and would rather do whatever you are doing on your own. Inevitably, this kind of help comes with strings attached whether you agree or not. The “helper” makes it clear that you “owe” them something since they helped you.
- The “help” is unwanted and interferes or delays you. This kind of help actually makes things more difficult for you. It interferes with what you are trying to do and increases the time involved because now you have to work around, explain, or otherwise engage with the “helper”.
- The “help” creates dependency. Some helps prevents you from learning a valuable skill or lession. It keeps you from developing independence and autonomy. While it does solve an immediate problem, it inevitably creates more problems than it solves in the long run.
- The “help” implies a lack of trust. This kind of help is too quick, before you’ve even had a chance to try. It leaves you with the feeling the “helper” did not trust you to do the job well or did not believe you were capable.
- The “help” is insulting or demeaning. Help is a put-down when it’s given in a superior, condescending, or arrogant way. This help is clearly because the “helper” looks down on you or pities you in some way.