The absent are always at fault. (Dictionary of English Proverbs/Thomas Preston) I remember once when I left a job I got a going away card from my co-workers. It said, “So you are leaving, we don’t blame you one bit. Of course, once you’re gone, we’ll blame you for everything”. It was funny but also true. I never forgot the sheer honesty of that card and the affection with which it was given.