Give neither advice nor salt until you are asked for it. (Dictionary of English Proverbs/Thomas Preston)  “But I was just trying to help”!  Were you?  If your attempt to “help” is met with irritation, annoyance, or anything less than sincere gratitude, then maybe it wasn’t perceived as help at all.  Maybe it was perceived as interference, controlling, lack of trust, or condescending.  Offering to help is fine so long as “no” (here we go again) is an option.  If you offer help, some one declines, and you respond negatively or try to force the issue, your motives, most likely, were self-serving.  Because, truthfully, if you are truly trying to help, it would be about the other person completely and if they decline the help offered, that would be the end of it and you would not, in any way, feel slighted.


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