I finally did it!  I deactivated my social media account (the one that starts with F and ends with “a lot of time I can never get back”).  It’s something I’ve wanted to do for about a year now but held on because of my spouse.  Eventually, I had to make the decision to do what’s best for me even though others may not agree.  One consideration was that I no longer have an outlet for my blog posts to automatically post to this popular social media outlet.  Actually, two blogs are affected, one of which is the non-profit Veteran’s Organization my spouse runs.  This was one point of disagreement between my spouse and myself.  I did have to maintain that “sometimes, I have to do what’s best for me”.   At any rate, the decision ultimately boiled down to the fact that this particular social media account was more stressful and distressing for me which overshadowed any benefit I was getting from it.  It, to borrow a phrase from a popular decluttering book, no longer sparked joy for me.  The memories popping up depressed me as did many of the posts (mostly by my family).  It was beginning to feel more like a source of hurt and maybe even self-pity (which is never a good road to go down).  The very minute I deactivated this account, I felt a sense of overwhelming relief and freedom.  I’ve also discovered how often I habitually checked that account through out the day.  I chose not to completely delete the account in case I change my mind later.  I do have many years of photographs that I may decide I want to eventually access.  On the other hand, the photographs were also part of the distress.  Sometimes, looking back on the past is not very helpful or uplifting.  The older I get the less I want to look back.  I’ve found it not very positive to think too much of the past.  Sure, there are good memories but then again, even good memories can be a source of depression and sadness because of losses.  For now, I’ll keep the account deactivated and see if this helps me feel better about my life as it is (not as it used to be and not how I wish it were).  There is some wisdom in focusing on today and simply enjoying the current experiences without the obsessive need to share.


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