My mother died in 2005.  It’s hard many days through out the year but Mother’s Day is always the worst.  My mother was so much fun and to people outside the home she was always happy.  What people did not see was the bitter depression she suffered behind the scenes.  She would put on a brave face in public and at work.  When she got home she let her guard down and often “took to her bed”.  She thought of suicide a lot, especially when she got very sick and was in constant pain.  I am glad that most people remember her being happy and fun.  While I remember her being happy and fun too, I also remember her dark moods and deep despair.  I am glad she is no longer in pain and is in a happy place.  Happy Mother’s Day in heaven, mamma.  There are no tears in heaven.


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