INADEQUATE ON PURPOSE


The very thought of doing something poorly upfront horrifies me.  Reading this quote by Zig Ziglar makes me realize why I quit my soft-ball team after the first practice (I was about 11 years old).  I joked about only joining for the uniform which I got to keep but I really quit because I was a terrible ball player.  I could not run, catch, or hit.  The first practice highlighted all too well how bad I was.  I knew right away I could easily go for “most improved” trophy by the end of the season.  It was too humiliating.  I just could not do it.  I wonder how many things I gave up on without even trying just because I could not start out doing it well?  This is a sobering thought.  On the other hand what did I stick with until I improved?  I stuck with the things I could work on alone without anyone else being able to witness my lack of skill.  This is a huge insight for me at my age to recognize how image conscious I have been without knowing it.  I’ve always thought I’ve been one of those people who did not care what others thought.  Didn’t I always wear those off-brand, second-hand, slightly off clothes and shoes with my head held high?  Didn’t I drive the trash truck in all it’s rusted glory to a private school?  These were things I had no choice in and only PRETENDED not to mind.  On the inside I was cringing and wanted to crawl into a hole.  I see now there were some humiliating circumstances I could not avoid-so I made the best of it.  There were other embarrassing situations I COULD avoid and CAN avoid so I did and I do.  I kind of wish I had stuck with the ball team a few more practices.  I might could have gotten better and at least I would not have felt like a quitter.  I do admire people who perform terribly with grace and come right back to try again.  April 2017 D. Webb

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