To insist often is in response to another person declining or saying “no” to something.  It can be felt as pressure or coercion.   Even when what is being insisted upon is, on the surface, positive (such as being offered something that is not really wanted but isn’t really bad–like a gift or extra serving of pie).  When we become uncomfortable with someone’s insistence, it may be that we are sensing hidden motives or simply feel disrespected because our real answer is not accepted.  Giving into pressure may relieve the initial anxiety of the situation, however it decreases our feelings of empowerment.  When we “give in” to another person’s pressure (even on seemingly good things) we can be left feeling devalued.  Amazingly enough, it’s often necessary to say “no thank you” up to seven times before it is accepted.  Often, after this many “no’s” the insistent person acts offended.  Another person’s response to you saying “no thank you” and sticking to it lets you know if their motives were as pure as they would have you believe.  When a person cannot accept “no” then whatever it is they are trying to get you to do is about them and not you.  Regardless, it feels icky and anything that feels icky is not good.  On our side, we can be more mindful that when someone says “no thank you”, it may be perfectly fine to offer a second time just to be sure they are not being polite.  However, offering something after someone has declined twice is harassment and disrespectful (especially when they eventually give in and accept to make us stop asking).  It’s time we all stopped pressuring each other.  Allow people to be themselves and stop making every little thing about you.  Respect is demonstrated in the small things all day long.  There really is no place for peer pressure in a mature, mutually beneficial, respectful relationship.  When “no means no” is the norm on small things, it will become the norm on large things as well.  If someone is not going to respect our decisions on simple things, you can be sure they will not accept our decisions on important things.

via Daily Prompt: Insist

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