Be a light, not a judge.  Be a model, not a critic. (Stephen Covey).  I can think of very few times in my life where someone pointed out one of my many faults that I was not already painfully aware of.  When I am criticized (no matter how nicely done) I am hardly, if ever, motivated to change for the better.  Usually criticism causes me to distance myself from the person who gives it and I tend to do the opposite of what I am told I “need” to do or “should” do.  In other words, I rebel as if to a parent in an effort to emphasize that I am an adult and do not have to do what others think I “should” do.  Much of the time I think badly of the person who criticizes me and consider they may be trying to put me down or in some way erode my self-esteem.  In a nut-shell, I take it as emotional or verbal abuse.  I do know it’s hardly ever helpful.  This realization helps me understand that others likely will not appreciate or positively respond to my criticism either.  No one ever really asks to be judged or criticized.  There is something within us all that lets us know what and where we could best change or improve.  Few of us appreciate another person telling us what we “need” to do to improve ourselves.


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