Physical boundaries (“don’t touch me”) are important and so are emotional ones (“none of your business”).  We may have some difficulty recognizing physical boundary violations(being force to hug someone) and it may be harder to pin-point emotional boundary violations (being asked a too-personal question).  Often our body or emotions will give us a clue–we feel tense, resentful, uncomfortable, sickened, angry or scared.  Unpleasant feelings (physical or emotional) are good signs that something is not right.  Trust it and don’t explain.  If you are being asked a question that you feel hesitant to answer–don’t answer.  If you are being asked to share what you are thinking, feeling or planning and you don’t think it’s anyone’s business you are right!  Just because someone wants a piece of you (physically, emotionally, spiritually or intellectually) does not mean you have to give it!  Your body is yours and so are your feelings, emotions, thoughts, beliefs, opinions and so-on.  You are not required to explain, defend or even articulate your reasons.  If you don’t want someone touching you (even if it’s a hand shake) step back and say “no”.  If you don’t want someone in your emotional space do the same–step back and say no”.  This is harder than it sounds especially if you’ve suffered physical or emotional boundary violations during childhood.  It gets easier over time and with practice it will not be so awkward.  People may still not like it and many will get angry or offended.  That’s your proof their intent probably was not in your best interest and you are right to set limits with this person.  Someone who loves you may not understand, may get their feelings hurt or may be shocked–but they won’t get mad or pressure you when you say “no”.  Say “no’ and stick to it!  webbwisdom.com 2017

wreath and fence

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