This is a picture of my mother who has been deceased since 2005.  I miss her very much.  Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between my grief and my fear.  My grief is associated with the loss of my mother and the missing of her.  Sometimes I wish I could tell her something.  Once I thought I could look her up on Facebook to see if I could find her. It was a crazy thought and I realized so in a second or two.  The fear, then, is about my own death and the death of others I love.  Death is a part of life and we all will die.  I fear I will be forgotten and that my being here on earth is of no account whatsoever.  I see how quickly my mother and any evidence of her disappeared.  It’s frightening.  This picture of her was when she and daddy were dating.  My father’s mother (my grandmother) saw the picture and she was against the relationship instantly (because of the word “Mexico” on the hat).  Strange I don’t think my grandmother ever really did accept my mother although, in the end, my mother was with her when she died.  My mother was like that.  No matter how she actually felt about some one or how they felt about her–she always did the right thing when she needed to.  I will see my mother one day again because I do believe she is with God and so I will be when I die.  Therefore, my fear really should be replaced with hope and I will work on that.  Thank you for listening!

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