INCREASING INTIMACY AND CLOSENESS

  • Show your partner you care about them at least five times each day
  • Spend no less than 10 minutes each and every day doing something with your partner (just the two of you)
  • Institute a date night no less than once per month (once per week is better if money and time allows); NO CHILDREN ALLOWED ON DATE NIGHT
  • Show manners and politeness to your partner (please, thank you, common courtesy)
  • Give unexpected and random surprises to your partner (this can be doing something special for them unexpectedly, giving them a card or flowers, buying a small token as a gift, calling them on the phone just to let them know you are thinking about them)
  • Listen to your partner (undivided attention) no less than 5 minutes per day
  • Create an “agree to disagree” list and put on it anything you’ve argued about more than once and agree to never discuss it again (agree that you will never agree)
  • Figure out ways to celebrate the differences between the two of you and make these celebrations part of your normal routine
  • Agree to make all decisions that affect your relationship together and base each of these decisions on what is best for your relationship
  • Agree not to involve a 3rd party in your relationship problems unless it’s a professional who is helping you improve your relationship
  • Agree never to talk negatively about your partner (to them or anyone else)
  • Agree to never try to change your partner
  • Agree to say what you mean and mean what you say (no dropping hints, no guilt trips and no manipulation)
  • Agree to always put your relationship first above self and others
  • Agree to eliminate anything from your home and life if it interferes with your relationship with each other (TV, computer, drugs, alcohol or possessions)
  • If apart during the day, speak with each other by phone or e-mail at least once per day
  • Agree to eliminate blame of any kind
  • Agree to eliminate mind-game-playing (trying to get your way at your partner’s expense)
  • Agree to never bring up the past after it’s been discussed one time
  • Agree to keep other people out of your relationship problems–unless it’s a professional counselor

(Diane Webb) #codedwithlove

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